As I've pointed out before, Wednesdays evenings are really rough for me. This week my Wednesday happened to fall on a Thursday (tonight). I'm beginning to have anxiety attacks prior to picking Chi up. I dread his behavior and the process it takes to correct it. I miss him and all I want to do is hug and kiss him, but I find my self only disciplining in the first hours of his homecoming. At times it's a quick fix. Maybe one full temper-tantrum, a time out, and a lot of loving. But some times it can get really ugly. His temper-tantrum turns into hitting and pushing and yelling and now... knocking things over! Two weeks ago it was his dresser and today he threw my purse across the room. I reflect now and I just can't believe that my little boy turns himself into this monster. It hurts so bad inside. I try to stay strong and follow Super Nanny's recommendations but at times I feel like I am going to have a nervous break down and loose myself. I have tried to talk to his dad about this situation but he looks at me clueless and all he ever says is that Chi was 'good at my house'. But I always have to deal with the aftermath. After Chi calms down he usually tells me that he was upset because he missed me and he doesn't like his daddy. How exactly am I supposed to deal with this??? Those who know my son also know what a well behaved lil man he is and those who have known me for a while also know that I have been dealing with Chi rejecting his father since he was an infant. It just went from a constant cry to verbal expressions. So... I guess I'm just venting, however if anyone has tips, advice, recommendations, or even like stories so I don't feel so alone I would greatly appreciate it. Say a prayer for me....
Thursday, January 1, 2009
A Constant Struggle
As I've pointed out before, Wednesdays evenings are really rough for me. This week my Wednesday happened to fall on a Thursday (tonight). I'm beginning to have anxiety attacks prior to picking Chi up. I dread his behavior and the process it takes to correct it. I miss him and all I want to do is hug and kiss him, but I find my self only disciplining in the first hours of his homecoming. At times it's a quick fix. Maybe one full temper-tantrum, a time out, and a lot of loving. But some times it can get really ugly. His temper-tantrum turns into hitting and pushing and yelling and now... knocking things over! Two weeks ago it was his dresser and today he threw my purse across the room. I reflect now and I just can't believe that my little boy turns himself into this monster. It hurts so bad inside. I try to stay strong and follow Super Nanny's recommendations but at times I feel like I am going to have a nervous break down and loose myself. I have tried to talk to his dad about this situation but he looks at me clueless and all he ever says is that Chi was 'good at my house'. But I always have to deal with the aftermath. After Chi calms down he usually tells me that he was upset because he missed me and he doesn't like his daddy. How exactly am I supposed to deal with this??? Those who know my son also know what a well behaved lil man he is and those who have known me for a while also know that I have been dealing with Chi rejecting his father since he was an infant. It just went from a constant cry to verbal expressions. So... I guess I'm just venting, however if anyone has tips, advice, recommendations, or even like stories so I don't feel so alone I would greatly appreciate it. Say a prayer for me....
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4 comments:
Poor baby--both of you! My niece used to fight going to school every day and it was a terrible battle every morning. My sister got a bag and filled it with small inexpensive toys and every time my niece would stay at school all day, she could choose a toy out of the bag. Maybe you could do the same with Chi--if he comes home and behaves, he gets a toy. The anger issues aren't going to go away on their own, so now's a good time to find out what pushes his buttons.
I can relate missy and I don't have the situation to go through that you do. My son is with me all of the time but we still have the constant struggles and NUMEROUS trips to the naughty step. As a matter of fact, I got bit for the first time over Christmans. Cole was mad and just lunged right at my side and dug in with his little fangs! It Hurt, physically and emotionally. Stay strong. Kadee was a good baby but she still had her outbursts, we consistently used the naughty step and she is great now! We are doing the same with Cole, anc can only hope it works as well.
You're venting and so is he, no one can keep it all inside and stay sane. I can't imagine what goes on in his young mind leaving one parent to go back to the other. "Dr Carol" makes sense, reward the good behavior. You're a good mom.(Don't kill him, you'll want grandkids some day)
Well, everyone knows that you can't pick your parents... You and I know that all too well. This obviously isn't a quick fix, and he is gonna feel this every week. I'm not EXACTLY sure how mature Chi is, however he needs to understand that one cannot make up for a parent's shortcomings or error, so he needs to be the best version of himself that he can be, and know that it is not his fault.
That's just my 2 cents though, coming from a personal standpoint.
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